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Saturday, June 21, 2008

Breaking Point

No, I'm not depressed; I'm in a shithole.

It's bonus day today at the office. The press release the day before was, in a nutshell, it's going to suck. So I prepared for the worst. Well, it was worse than that. Hah. My boss tells me it's performance. That explains why my bonus is 25% less than my bonus last year, never mind that I was promoted and am currently being forced into doing management tasks that I do not get paid for. I wasn't expecting an increase, but I was not prepared for a drastic decrease either.

At any rate, this just means it's over for me. It's been game over for a while now, but I was (stupidly) hoping things would at least be marginally better for the last year I will be spending in this godforsaken company.

So anyway, I consoled myself with thoughts of postgraduate studies. And then I find out that, well, one of the professors I plan to ask for a recommendation for one of the universities I wanted to apply to basically thinks I should look for other universities that are easier to get into. Which in my book would mean he thinks I'm incredibly deluded for even considering to apply. I know, I know, he might have meant it in a much kinder way. But it's not like I am applying for one university alone - contrary to popular belief, I am not Elle Woods. I plan to apply for all the universities I can find that I like. But, well, it's a quite vicious blow when someone tells you you shouldn't even bother to apply, isn't it? Is it really so wrong to aim just a tad bit higher than what other people think you are capable of?

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