life's a bitch and then you die

So today I was supposed to go home (by home I mean the province, not the cockroach-infested ghetto) and then my phone got lost stolen pilfered forcefully taken by a kinfe-waving gun-pointing monster. Okay, so that was a stretch. Basically someone something took it as I made my way to the bus station.

Oh, my poor phone. No one will appreciate him more than I do. Because really, who wants a camera-free phone but me (and my office mates)?

I do hope that the heartless, greedy, fucked-up individual who took my phone lives a nice, peaceful, happy life free of sorrow and frustration. No, of course not. I hope he wakes up every morning wanting to die, as huge rats make a feast of his appendages in the dark corners of some filthy alley in Metro Manila. At the very least, I hope he gets kidney stones, and nightmares every single day. I've stopped believing in karma, because if it were true, then ninety percent of Manila's taxi drivers should be in excruciating pain right now. I think people just made it up to feel better when they get screwed over by someone else. It does make you feel better a bit, but all of it is just hoping in vain.

The only way to get over a lost phone is inhaling Royce chocolates, french fries, and full-fat Coke as you search for a replacement. Say hello to my to-be phone candidates:

Motorazr2 V9. Because I've always adored my Razr, and for two years it never gave me any problems (and never got snatched either). My only problem with it is that it's not 3G. Well, this one is.

Motorola U9. Because it's pink, and the external display is gorgeous. But sadly, no 3G. But still, it's pink. Did I mention it's pink?

Motorola 160. AKA, the featureless phone. Just call and text, no other features. No camera! No color even. And the phonebook can house 100 numbers. How cool is that? Your SIM can hold more numbers than your phone! Do I even have to tell you that it's not 3G? This is the type of phone that gets returned to you during a holdup. So you see, it's worth looking at. And well, I actually kinda likey.

By now you would've noticed they're all from Motorola. I think no other company understands phones the way they do (I'm so sorry, scandalously overpriced 3G iPhone).

See? I'm feeling better already.
(pictures courtesy of


  1. Overpriced is right. I am REALLY pissed off.

  2. And in my rage, I managed to miss the first part of your entry. Damn pilferers! I hope they trip on something sharp. Like electric barbed wires.

  3. Well, if you have a Globe platinum line you can have the 8Gb model for free. hahaha.