Because I haven't had the chance to dance along the light of day

My first ever blog post was in 2004, and it was the lyrics of Train's Drops of Jupiter. They have since moved on from love, pride, deep fried chicken to lipstick stains on the front lobe of left side brains. And me, I moved from LiveJournal to Blogger (with short-lived stints in Wordpress and Tumblr), from student to engineer, from Manila to Tokyo and back.

I'm poring over my archive of random ramblings masquerading as blog posts because I feel it's time for a major change, and I need to remind myself that I will manage just fine. And I also need to remind myself that once upon a time, I had a life outside of work, and it was pretty damn great. See, the problem with your job is, no matter how much you love it, it may not love you back. And that teeny tiny ounce of fulfillment you dream of getting after the countless hours of overtime and missed dinners with friends, you may never even get. Because, see, it happened to me. You know how everyone keeps emphasizing work-life balance? Yeah.

It's hard, realizing you worked your ass off for nothing. But I'll get over it one day. For now, it's time to rediscover myself outside the four walls of the office. And hopefully I'll come out of all of this with drops of jupiter in my hair.


  1. Hey Ella :) I've been there too many times in my life. Can't say I'm an expert on work woes but despite work killing me, I remind myself every now and then to go out and do things. I even set an alarm for play time. :)

    I know it may not be easy, and sometimes work just becomes too stifling but just do what you gotta do and keep doing what you think you deserve :)


  2. this is a wonderful post - it's a bit weird seeing my own disjointed thoughts in your words. but hang tight, there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. we just need to get there, ya?

  3. I think we tend to get to a point where we stop and think about where we are and what we want to do.

    "No matter how small the chance, it may never come again."

    I really like this quote (a Japanese idol said it). It made me think about the things I want to do.

  4. *hugs*

    what happened mommy?

    things will get better eventually, we just need to take a good look at our options and our dreams and seize the opportunity that will take us to that end point. :) in the meantime, we just have to hang on.