My lola died last Saturday.

The last time I was home she was recovering from a sudden bout with "high blood" because the jueteng collector attempted to swindle her out of her winnings. I told her to take it easy. The last time we talked over the phone she told me she was getting weak; I told her to try to move around instead of lying in bed all day. The last time I saw her she could not open her eyes and I wasn't sure if she heard me at all. I told her she should rest. An hour later she was gone.

Everything that followed was a blur, I haven't even had time to grieve.
We all have our own ways of dealing with loss, and I have yet to figure out mine.

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